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My absence from my own blog has been rather lengthy and at the request of dear Jerica I make a brief return, I say brief because I make no promises to return on a regular basis. As I think I mentioned previously Andrew won a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Whistler, British Columbia. In short the trip was a dream come true! I felt like and was treated like Cinderella for a week. We stayed at the five-star Fairmont Chateau hotel, dined like kings and queens, and played like kids. I was initially worried about not meshing with any other couples but was soon proved wrong when I made fast friendships with three other couples. For the majority of the trip these three couples were who we hung out with though there were several other great people we got to know along the way. The views were to die for, and the air truly was like nothing I had ever breathed before. My only complaint though I shouldn't complain was that the temperatures left a little to be desired from someone as cold-natured as myself.
The first day we arrived with enough time to get checked in, have a little drink at the bar, and then head upstairs to the terrace for an elaborate dinner under a tent. It was amazing, but after so much travel I was a wimp and called it a night rather early compared to those who hit the town hard and were paying for it the next morning =) When Andrew and I came back to our room we had a surprise waiting on our bed, a bag full of goodies! Little did I know that gifts would be left for us each night to return to. It felt like Christmas, every night I was excited to come "home" and see what "Santa" had left for us!
The next morning Andrew had a team building exercise to attend after breakfast, so while that took place another girl and myself made the 15 minute trek to the Village to explore. The Village was very similar to any other ski village. I was on a hunt for Dr.Pepper and finally scored a few bottles from a burger joint I spotted. The rest of the day we spent exploring the surrounding area before coming back to get ready for our dine-around meal. Seeing as how I don't really eat anything but chicken or turkey this put Andrew and myself in a bind on what restaurant to select. None of the options provided offered any sort of chicken (it was either fish or steak) so we settled on the fondue choice since I knew for a fact I could gorge myself on melted cheese and bread! It was a night to remember! Everyone got a little out of control on the amount of wine we were served, especially Andrew, but we were on vacation right?
The next morning had to get up early for golf and I hung out at the hotel until my massage appointment. The massage was heavenly, I'd never had one until that day and at the conclusion of the massage I was planning on making it a monthly necessity (I don't think this is really going to happen of course). I then did a very big-girl thing... I ate lunch by myself. I know, I know, not that big of a deal, but for me it was because I was always too scared to eat by myself so rather than eat and be alone I would just avoid eating. Not anymore! After lunch I then headed back to the spa and got a pedicure. That night we then had dinner at the top of the mountain, and got to the top via a gondola ride. Riding back down at night was my favorite because the view of the Village all lit up was beautiful.
The fourth day Andrew and I went zip-lining in the coastal rain forest. It was INCREDIBLE! I wish I could do it again. I can't think of any other time in which I had so much fun. At the end of it I was ready to bungee jump but Andrew nixed that idea with good reason. That night was a free night so Andrew and I went back into the Village and went and saw the movie the Proposal. It was good to have a low-key night.
The final day we did the Peak-2-Peak gondola ride in which it snowed the entire time so our view was limited but indeed fun to be in the middle of the snow. We did some shopping, enjoyed a delicious Italian lunch and then came back for the gala that evening. The way they decorated for all of the dinners was breath-taking. Each dinner looked like an out of this world wedding reception and the bands were entertaining. I would have loved to dance but was a little too shy to do so for some reason. I was terribly sad to leave the next morning but it was an amazing trip. Oh! And at the Vancouver airport we saw Ben Stein!! The trip was one for the books!
People pegging you as a certain type has always been a sensitive subject for me, as this is something I am often the victim of. I'm constantly reminding others that people change and evolve on a daily basis. You can't ever assume you completely know someone, because as humans we are (hopefully) learning and growing everyday.
Judging or pegging became an issue once more this week. For my 24th birthday I finally went and got the tattoo I have been talking about for forever. It's a butterfly on the top of my right foot. I love it (though it is in the process of oozing as I type this)! I knew that tattoos continue to be a controversial item for some, but thought that for the most part that they were more widely accepted as art nowadays, if not everywhere, then at least here in Austin where people tend to be more relaxed. Apparently my assumption was not completely true. I've heard over the past week many times, "Why did you do that? You're not that kind of girl." Excuse me? What kind of girl am I exactly? And how is it that you know who I am when I'm still trying to figure that out? For crying out loud, I'm still Rachel, I just have art on my foot now. My values and morals didn't change, nor did my behavior. It's frustrating to say the least. The only two people I was concerned about were my mom and dad, and they actually surprised me by being oddly cool about it. Surprises will never cease.
I've long been absent, some of which was due to being in a slump as well as being pretty busy.
The good news I have to report is that I finally got my car back after it being at the repair shop for over a month. I think this was a large contributor to my shlumpy mood. Not having a car and having to constantly rely on someone else for help and transportation is not my thing. I don't like being a burden and that is what I ended up being. But now I'm back in control for the most part. My car is beautiful looking once more! I had forgotten how much fun she is to drive. She even has a toll tag now!
Last week I started thinking about the difference between giving and sharing. Sadly I think this mental pondering took place at church (shame on me) but it was an interesting realization none the less. There's a book about the five love languages, I read a few years ago so the exact title and author escape me. The book discusses how everyone is different in the way they show and receive love, and that often this is the problem in relationships, people are showing love differently and the other person doesn't understand it. For example Andrew and myself. I show love to others through gift-giving. Andrew on the other hand doesn't receive love best that way. His love language is physical (no not that way). He likes physical contact especially in the form on head scratches or back massages. Sadly I haaaate doing that, I have arthritis in my hands so to do that is painful plus it's just not my thing. We've had to work our way around this and try to understand one another better.
Now having said that I show love through gifts let me explain further. I absolutely love to give gifts. I get ridiculously excited and try to plan gifts that all go together or tell a story, etc. It's been proven that most people give gifts to others of things that they would want themselves. However, that is not what I do. I try get or do something the other person would love based off of comments they've made, etc. While I thrive on giving gifts or small surprises to others I absolutely hate sharing. To me there is a big difference between the two. Giving is saying have this for yourself, and that's easy for me. Sharing is basically loaning something that will be returned. I hate sharing. The reason for this being that I am incredibly neat and organized. When I was younger I would have to share things with my sister who for the most part would generally ruin or mess up anything that was mine. For that reason I've never enjoyed sharing but I'm getting better!
To all the givers and sharers, may your day be terrific!
It's hard for me to grasp the fact that a year of marriage has already elapsed for myself and Andrew. All in all it has been a terrific year but I am not fool enough to believe that every year will be a good one, though I can wish for it. Highlights of the past year include: our wedding, the honeymoon to New York City, picking up Tessa and taking her home for the first time, setting up our home and then moving to a new apartment, buying our first new car, going to Fiesta Texas for my birthday, celebrating our first Christmas together, etc. Andrew and I are not the most exciting people but we make each other laugh and I've learned and continue to learn that if you can laugh then you can pretty much make it through anything! Andrew and I are not confrontational people, we don't generally fight and I like it best that way! Things that are still a work in progress are; getting Andrew into the kitchen more, meeting more people, and I'm constantly working on being a more patient person because unfortunately I'm lacking in that department.
On our actual anniversary we ate at the Melting Pot and it was divine! The not so divine part, Andrew forgetting his wallet. We share the same account but the fact that I was paying for it made it less fun since it was supposed to be my gift. Oh well! On Friday, Andrew and I both took the day off which was a lot of fun because we woke up and got ready lazily, ran errands, dropped Tessa at my parents for the night and then made our way to San Antonio for the Spur's game that night. The game was a lot of fun, our hotel was terrific and the time together was fun! I can't wait to do it again!
The next two months will now be dedicated to getting into tip-top shape for the B.C. trip! Andrew got the trip schedule last week and it is going to be simply AMAZING! I'm someone who always has to have something to look forward and this couldn't be better! =)
Both good and bad news to report.
First and foremost, Andrew got the trip to British Columbia! They announced it last week and gave him a little bag of random things that would come in handy on the trip. I can’t wait! It’s not until the middle of June but I’m already playing out scenario’s in my head of what the trip might be like (a little ridiculous, but it’s what happens when I get excited about doing something). I’ve already bought Andrew and myself a couple of things to wear because in my head for some reason I think we need to look our best when with all these other people. Andrew is stoked about the golfing and is preparing to practice as he should since he hasn’t played a full round of golf in like 5 years! I’ll be the cart driver! If you want to see where we’re going check this out http://www.fairmont.com/whistler. The 2010 Winter Olympics are being hosted there! I really hope I get to do the para-sailing, horseback riding, zip-lining, ATV tours, and of course spa type stuff is a plus. I can’t wait to find out more about everything! =)
Secondly, the 1st year wedding anniversary is around the corner! For Andrew I got him tickets to a Spur’s game (the paper item) and booked a hotel room on the Riverwalk so we could stay the weekend there (Tessa Bear free). Don’t know what we’re doing yet (Andrew’s not a fan of the zoo) but I’ll figure it out. Andrew only told me part of my present and that was just that we’re going to eat at the Melting Pot again!! He already made reservations and told them it’s going to be our anniversary. He’s on top of it! Melting Pot is not the kind of place you should have cravings for because it’s expensive but I crave it! Can’t wait! Even better, the next day is Sam’s birthday, but we’re actually celebrating her birthday early on that Saturday before so the entire week is going to be FUN! Saturday = Sam’s Birthday Barbeque, Monday = Wedding Anniversary, Tuesday = Sam’s Birthday! Friday = Spur’s game with Sam and Jon!
The not so good part of this entry is that Austin had a horrible hail storm yesterday (golf ball and baseball size at my apartment) and the new Nadia (my car I got in August) was horribly brutalized by Mother Nature. Andrew was so pissed about it that he made a whole batch of margarita’s for himself. My windshield busted and the rest of my car looks like a 16 year-olds acne marked face. We’ll see what happens with that. I almost cried but then I stopped myself because what would have been the point? Instead Sam and I each had a glass of wine seeing as how the Mighty Mazada suffered wounds as well. Oh well. It could have been a lot worse, it just sucks in general.
Life continues on.
I often do not give Andrew enough credit for the wonderful man that he is and so this post is dedicated to him.
I am easily annoyed, flustered, frustrated, etc. I used to think that patience was a virtue that I embodied but unfortunately that is not the case. I am a high-strung individual and Andrew is a constant reminder of how high-strung I am. Andrew is ridiculously relaxed and chill. I react immediately and he just looks at me without understanding why I get so worked up. It can be frustrating at times, but he helps me put it all in perspective.
Below is a short list of the many ways in which Andrew is wonderful:
He always takes care of me when I feel bad and will bring me food, medicine, drinks, etc. He really is the best!
He always scoops me ice cream
He always offers to go to the grocery store if I need something or will pick up dinner if I don’t feel like cooking
He watches girly shows and movies with me (and secretly enjoys them)
He takes Tessa out to potty when it’s cold out so that I won’t have to
He makes me laugh always, I can be happy, sad, mad, crying, etc. but he always manages to make me laugh
He doesn’t care that I like to shop
He will try or do things that I love (even if that means riding roller coasters despite his dislike of them – now he loves them!)
He thinks I’m wonderful no matter what I look like or how I act (which leads me to believe that love is blind)
If you could have it all, what would you want?
Why I even bothered to ponder this I have no idea since it is highly unlikely that I'll come into unseen amounts of money or ever be anyone who has the power to lead millions. Nonetheless it was an interesting question because I guess it's a question that leads you to identify those things or people that matter most in your life.
First and foremost I would want the ability to better express the love and grace that God has for all of us to those around me. I rarely talk about my spiritual beliefs because like most of those around me I too do not want to be condemned for what I believe. At times those this is incredibly frustrating because if people only knew how much they were loved they wouldn't be scared or fearful when events like a tough economy are going on around them.
I would also want to have self-confidence. Somewhere along the way I lost mine and am forever trying to find ways to rebuild that which once existed. I think I am capable of doing many great things but thinking I am and ever being able to do those great things because you think you don't matter are completely different thoughts.
I would like to be assured of always having enough funds so that I can live comfortably as well as tithe to my church and give to those organizations that I believe make significant differences. I think that if people didn't have to worry about money that more inventions, cures and good acts would take place.
I would travel the world.
I would like to have five really, really, really good friends. I'm talking kindred spirits who love you completely and totally for who you are. I'm talking about emotionally stable, caring, fun-loving, non-judgmental friends who you grow old with. You're always honest with one another because you know that at the end of the day you're always going to be there for one another, and that those things said are only there to make your life better.
I would have children with Andrew, and grow old together knowing that we're best friends.
What would you want?
Recently exciting news: Andrew and I had a date night on Thursday at the Melting Pot, yum!! AND I now own my very first pair of cowboy boots!!
I loooooove the Melting Pot, and Andrew is now likewise obsessed ever since he realized that fondue is simply melted cheese. The other really great part of having a date at the Melting Pot is that it's a 2 hour meal generally so that leaves lots of time for conversation.
As for the boots I finally feel like a real Texan now! I realize I've always been a Texan but the boots solidify my status. Buying boots could easily become an addiction if I let it. Walking into the store, smelling all that leather, seeing the walls covered in boots. A girl can't help but love it!
I'm itching to go to the rodeo so I'm hoping this will confuse Andrew that we should go. I realize this might sound strange coming from me but I LOVE the rodeo! One of my few childhood memories is being 4 or 5 and standing in the rodeo ring in Dallas with a bunch of other kids as we all chased after a calf. The entire environment is exciting, the cowboys are incredible (to look at), and the food is terrible but wonderful (hello funnel cakes), it's exciting; it's life! Perhaps the part I most admire about the entire rodeo is that you know the cowboys and cowgirls are completely present in the moment. They have to be in order to win, to survive.
How many of us can be honest and say we live our life in the moment, in the present, day in and day out? I can't. I'm ridiculously bad about having my mind somewhere completely different than where I'm standing or sitting. We miss out, I miss out, on things when live is lived that way.
I am extreeeeeeeemely sensitive. I have come to realize that this is one of my biggest strengths... AND biggest weaknesses. I feel as though am I easily able to empathize and sympathize with situations and people. This has happened numerous times where I will listen to a story and tear up without knowing the person, and don't get me started on watching TV or movies. I am a literal basket-case which is embarrassing. This is a constant source of Andrew's teasing. I am under the impression that I've always been this way since my mom has told me stories about how when I was in kindergarten I would come home and cry myself to sleep nearly everyday in her lap because two particular girls didn't like me and would never be my friend. I must confess that I don't remember this and have probably blocked it for some reason.
While being sensitive has made it very easy to relate with people it has also held me back which is incredibly frustrating for someone who has goals. I am terrified of people being upset with me. If someone gets mad at me I will almost 100% of the time cry no matter how much I fight it. For someone who already has to deal with the fact that she looks younger than she is, adding tears to that only serves to further hinder my ability to be taken seriously. Even better, I am unable to be stern with others because I know how it would make me feel if I was in their shoes. It's that whole treat others how you would like to be treated. That darn Golden Rule. Do you see what I mean? How can I ever be someone's boss if I'm incapable of being stern when needed? And dealing with irate customers? Forget it!
That's why I am better suited to dealing with children, yet at the end of the day I'm still going to have to deal with parents (i.e. adults). I either need a Poker Face or to somehow learn how to Brush My Shoulders Off... sigh.
I have always been of the belief that it is better to listen than to talk.
I still have the same beliefs, it's just that unfortunately I don't adhere as well to them as I once did. I talk... a lot. Too much. I hear myself sometimes and want to tell myself to just shut up, but I don't. The word garbage continues to pour forth. I've been trying to figure out if all of the talking is because I held too much in for too long or if it's because I've just become a total brat? I'm starting to believe it's a combination of both. The really awful thing about it all is that now I've started to stay rude but true things out loud. I've always thought the things I have, but I was smart enough to keep them to myself. Ultimately what would be best is if I didn't have rude thoughts at all but I've been battling that for years and had no success. All of a sudden people are looking at me like wow I thought you were a nice girl but you are really rude. It makes me sad. I've got to find a way to zip my lips. I think what's happened is that from working I've seen how rude people can be and it has caused me to feel less kind myself. The incessant rambling even continues in my blogs. Eww.
More exciting news (for me, not really you) is that Courtney asked me and Sam to be her bridesmaids today! It was super surprising and really exciting! I'm going to keep it to myself until Michael asks Andrew to be one of his groomsmen. I love weddings! =)
The current "me" in 10 items or less:
- Andrew has developed a recent habit of snoring like crazy which for me makes sleepless nights and grumpy days.
- Tonight I get to see Legally Blonde with about 20 other ladies and cannot wait!
- Also exciting is that Wednesday I will be taking a half day at work so that I can get my hair cut and colored. Finally!
- I'm in another one of my moods where I don't think any of my friends like me or want to hang out with me.
- For a while now every night before I go to bed I watch seasons of Sex & the City and keep a tally of how many men each women sleeps with a) because it keeps me awake and b) because it's entertaining.
- I'm reading Confessions of a Shopaholic (I can't wait for the movie) and am slightly disgusted by the main characters complete lack of control, but am hoping she improves.
- I saw the movie Defiance on Sunday and thought it was Amazing! I loooooove Daniel Craig and the story of the 4 brothers was incredible. You should see it!
- I only watched part of the Super Bowl. I was tired and uninterested. I really wanted the Cardinals to win but my boss is the biggest Steelers fan ever and had they lost it would have been a really really terrible day on Monday.
I was hoping the next post from me would be uplifting and positive, but today is just crummy!It's a combination of several things which don't bear detailing, just know that today is not as good as I anticipated it being when I woke up this morning. Don't you hate when that happens? You play out our your day how you want it to go but instead the reality ends up being far more screwed up and in the end you don't know where it went all wrong. If I was home right now I would turn up music real loud and just dance it out Meredith Grey style and all the while Tessa would jump around which would in turn make me start giggling because the sight is just too funny to resist. And in minutes I would feel better about everything! Instead... I am stuck to my desk at work for at least another hour. Oh the injustice!To change the subject I saw Bride Wars last night and I don't know what all of the negative hoopla is about. It's exactly what I expect a Kate Hudson movie to be, funny and cute. All the more so because Anne Hathaway is in it and because the premise is that best friends make it through everything even when it seems like they can't. Which only makes me long more for those types of friendships. Kate and Anne, or even all of the ladies from Sex & the City. I WANT what they have though they may be characters in a screenplay. I know that type of friendship exists because art imitates life and vice versa. Someday it'll be mine, first, I just need to stop wanting it so badly. Surely I am capable and deserving of such a thing... right? Right?Knowing how finicky I am I probably won't make it back here before the inauguration, so just in case I really don't; don't forget to watch Barack take office on Tuesday! It's going to be one moment in history that you don't want to miss! Really!
I have never exactly been into the whole huge New Year celebration. As a kid getting to stay up that late was fun, especially when having a sleep-over. However I'm now at the stage where you're expected to dress up, go downtown and spend lots of money on senseless drinks just to stay up too late and in the end not really remember much of what happened during the night. I'm just not into that kind of culture. I would rather go out to eat, and out to a late movie, or have a game night to ring in the new year. Don't get me wrong, I love having the day off from work; but in general I could care less which would probably explain why I was in bed, asleep before the countdown began.
Having said all of that I do enjoy the opportunity to close one door and open another. The opportunity for a fresh start, a new beginning. That's silly to say that because there's an opportunity to change each day, but you know what I mean.
I don't really believe in the whole making New Year's Resolutions. I think it's just another money-making opportunity that was created and is especially good for all of the gyms around the country. Ninety percent of the time people don't keep their resolutions and know ahead of time they aren't going to keep them. So my question, why bother making them in the first place? Why not instead make resolutions that you can achieve, like promising to laugh more or making the resolution to have one "me" night a week where you do something you completely enjoy like reading. Aren't those more realistic and achievable resolutions?
Being the 4th day of January I still haven't figured out what my goals are for the year but when I figure them out I'll be sure to let you know.
In the meantime, Happy New Year!
